Oh, the beauty of being a writer. I can dish out about my dating life to you, and nobody can stop me. Not even that one crazy ex. Ha!
Jokes aside, I will never use the term "the one" ever again, simply because I don't believe in it. Dating is like getting an entry-level job, you just can't be too picky unless you are a Marilyn Monroe (you have to compromise sometimes). However, I've learned from the worst and the best, and have a few simple tips for you. Now, before you disregard this post and say that my type is most likely different from your type, let me reassure you that this post isn't about types. There are just certain characteristics the man you date should have, because these characteristics determine whether your relationship will be healthy or unhealthy. Now, you don't necessarily need to carry a notebook with check marks or find someone who fulfills all of the below characteristics. Just keep them in mind, because they are obvious.
1. Being with him is easy. This is something you won't determine on the first five dates. But you should have a good sense of whether he is a manipulative and/or insecure idiot, or whether he is an easy-going person who will only compliment the ambitious person in you. When you are with the manipulative and/or insecure idiot, you feel as though he guards you like you are his one and only, probably hating on your girlfriends and asking for your Facebook password because he just won't trust you. Result: you feel like you are in prison. When you are with an easy-going person, your career flourishes, you see your friends as often as you did before you starting dating, and you just feel lighter. Result: heavens.
2. He has a definite hobby. Nothing is worse than a man whose hobby is lying on the couch, sipping a beer and watching TV every night. There is nothing wrong with being a couch potato once in a while, of course. But, you want someone who has a life that doesn't involve you, unless you share the same passion for tennis or something. Someone who plays some sport, or does photography or web design on the side, whatever. If I were to add my own kick to this point, I would say, make sure his hobby isn't video games or that serious computer disease (where he stays up all night staring at the screen). But, who cares, a hobby is a hobby at the end of the day.
3. He is not a mama's boy. If his mama still does his laundry/pays for his rent, if he still asks her about small and big decisions in life, and if he texts her "good night," yup, he is a mama's boy. RUN. Because you will never, ever, ever break that bond and you will never, ever, ever replace his mama. Nuff said.
4. He has a sister. Of course, you can't disqualify a potential partner just because he has no siblings or because he has a brother instead of a sister. However, if your potential SO has a sister, you probably found yourself a good one. When a man grows up with a sister, he is well prepared for all those womanly things men find weird, or at least pretend to find weird. He has seen it all and won't act like a clown when you leave that tampon on the sink counter. A sister is also kind of like his first girlfriend...go ahead and say "ewww." But in reality, she is. From her, he learns how to be around a woman and what to expect from one.
5. He doesn't forget his friends and family. Let's face it, spending every second of your life with your SO seems cute in theory, but not healthy in reality. Basically, you are aiming for that "good with you and good without you" routine. He shouldn't ditch his friends or his family for you, just like he probably shouldn't merge his hobbies with yours. Otherwise, your cute wine conversations will become very boring very fast. Trust me.