Well, apart from that face that we make when we are angry and yelling at you for being a mother-fucken'-jerk!!!! fuck you!!! I am so angry!!! I hate you and your ugly, liquidy guts!!!
We (women) suck based on several traits:
1) Women de-stress by bitching when men de-stress via silence and alone time, barely asking for help from their 'buddies'. We beg for help. When women are stressed, they preoccupy themselves with other women and talk about their stresses. It just turns into a bunch of whining about random stuff: their boss, their overflowing trash can and the cutlery that has gone missing after that party with the in-laws. A lot of the time it ends up being about the first, easiest target: the husband/boyfriend/one night stand, even if they were not the immediate cause of stress. So it goes something like this: a bunch of girls sipping on cocktails in nice heels literally just bitching out their problems. You hear a bunch of "awww," "honey, i've been there" and "you are too beautiful to go through something like that." Now, that sucks, because women don't realize that they absorb all those problems and probably go home even more stressed. At least I do...that is why I will not tell you about my problems and certainly don't want to hear about yours.
2) Women get VERY competitive with their own kind. What happened to our perfect plan of girl power!!?? It failed badly, that is what happened. Cause my boyfriend gave me a nicer ring than you boyfriend gave you, and because my Mom bought a bigger house than your Mom, and because my sister kicked your sister's ass in soccer. So when women get together it turns into a bunch of I am better than you talk. It can be very subtle but it is there.
Girl A: "So what is new?"
Girl B: "Well, my boyfriend is like super amazing and like oh my god the other day he said that I am the love of his life!"
Girl A: "Oh my god, that is so amazing! I am so happy for you! Like, we are gonna get married at the same time! I think that my boyfriend actually bought me a ring already."
Girl B: "I am so happy for you too! Same, mine even pointed out this ring with a really BIG diamond."
Girl A: "Oh yeah, well mine has been saving up for months so can you imagine how nice this ring is going to be?!"
Girl B: "Oh honey, you deserve it! I can't wait, especially since my bf has amazing taste...."
*Vomit* Stop competing you dumb girls. You waste so much time trying to prove stuff to one another that you loose touch with yourself.
3) Women are on a continuous hunt for perfection. Dating is like a check list nowadays, and it all starts with the way our society is focused on individualism and all of that crazy consumerism. Women are sooo independent nowadays because they hold office jobs and have all sorts of beauty products available to be even more beautiful than before. Actually, they don't even need a man to make them happy! There are sex toys for that. And yet...they are secretly on a hunt for Mr. Perfect. I don't know if it is all the romantic comedies we watched that made us believe that we deserve all the perfection. And maybe we do, but who the hell said that what happens in movies IS even a tad bit perfect? And then we face the bitter disappointment when we find out that we actually missed out on all the great men while looking for the one with the Ferrari, the rooftop pool in his condo and the cute dog because that MUST mean that he wants children. Oh lord, shoot me now.
Let's not even get started on the divorce rates because the guy with the Ferrari turned out to be a mega-jerk. Same goes to you men: stop looking for perfection and stop talking crap about 'settling down.' We all know that you secretly long to buy a house with 3 garages and have you version 2.0.