5/26/12

What I really think about Anastasia Steele from "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Wow! It's been nearly a month since our last post. We must truly apologize to our readers. The writers of this blog are going through some major changes in their lives! Promise we will be back on track soon.

Now, to my post.



Warning: depending on what you call a spoiler, this post may or may not contain such.

So, about a month ago, I was strolling through Chapters. I came upon "Fifty Shades of Grey" by complete accident, without reading the part at the back that states that the book is modern erotica, and without realizing that I just set myself up for my first-ever-badly-written-fan-crazy-book-turned-movie-trilogy like "Hunger Games" and "Twilight" (I apologize if you found any of these stories exciting).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DON'T DO IT!

And I shouldn't complain. I'm on the second book, hooked on I don't know what. And it's not the porn. I never thought I'd get tired of reading porn, actually. But there is an overwhelming amount of it, so I basically just skip those pages at this point.

Anyway, perhaps I'm on the second book because I've been trying to give the storyline and Anastasia Steele a chance. I'm a very forgiving reader, believe me. But nope, it's not happening. There is nothing more to the story other than condoms, handcuffs, whips, chains, ties...and erections.

OKAY, NO MORE ERECTIONS, PLEASE!!! (On a side note, how the hell does Christian Grey get these 20 times a day with 5 minute breaks in between? I know this is fiction, but really???)

Also, Anastasia Steele is an extraordinarily boring and annoying girl. Anastasia not only doesn't possess a mind of her own, but her vocabulary is also sickeningly limited to Jeez! Wow! Holy shit!..and...That's so hot!

STOP IT, ANASTASIA.

Anastasia Steele has the IQ of a seven year old, something that they have the audacity to call humor, and she gives strong, independent women a bad rep. Because she isn't one. (On another side note, how the hell does a virgin know what's HOT in bed if she has been living in a dungeon without technology or boyfriends, like Anastasia Steele?)

I shall say no more. And I will not speak about Christian Grey. Quite frankly, I wish that the book was written from his perspective about how annoying Anastasia Steele is. He seems to be the only character in the book that comes close to the definition of normal or interesting. And she calls him fucked up?

I SAID STOP IT, ANASTASIA. GO CRY IN YOUR ROOM.

I rate "Fifty Shades of Grey" 1.5/10 (0.5 because it's at least suitable for my cardio reading), immense amounts of drugs and all the feminists rolling over in their graves.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more!! Ana is annoying, self-centered, a baby and needs constant reassurance. I have NO idea what Christian sees in her! I also skip the sex pages as it is just too much and quite boring at this point. But Ana is the worst, always questioning the same things over and over and over...she's horrible. Btw - 3rd book doesn't improve her imagine much :)

moon girl said...

Yes! Thank you! hahaha :)
And thanks for the heads up. I don't know if I will read the 3rd book.

She is just so slow, it seems. Why is she always thinking about the same thing and taking so long to analyze her day?

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Anonymous said...

Spoliler alert: don't read if you're not done with Book 2

OMG Thank you for writing this! I thought it was just me thats totally annoyed with her and can barely read the book.

What bugs me most about her is she's this horny as hell,catty little jealous insecure bitch! She's always wipping out her claws and thinkin of childish names for other females that she thinks are hitting on joy boy! "Little Miss European pigtails" "Miss Crimson red" and a few names for Mrs Robinson! Grow the hell up you insecure little bimbo,this man has a history and your a dumb little dimwit !

Then she blames Mrs Robinson for his choice in S&M he was 15 true but the kid was fighting and violent at this time,maybe HE also enjoyed it. BOTTOM LINE her character is just so naive and irritating!!! Then the author goes back and forth from this naive ,freshness to her ganster anger reaction to Mrs Robonson fights,one minute she refuses his gifts then she's whorin herself out and acceptin them...MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!!

Over all the Ana character is

a hypocrital,jealous,catty ,irritating little puppet controlled by a man and she takes the role of sstupid Jerry Springer bimbo who fights over him and is jealous!! Not impressed with this character

Anonymous said...

Wow I completely agree with all the above comments regarding Ana Steele. I came across the book while idly waiting for a connection at Heathrow airport and I had no idea there was all this popularity behind it. I can understand why some call it mommy-porn (sort of like the middle aged women lusting after Edwards' character in Twilight). I actually liked the first book, probably mostly due to my immense jetlag and I did not find it too cheesy but oh lord a couple of chapters into the second book and I am kind of starting to 'gag' and skip the sex scenes because they are so repetitive and so unrealistic and honestly I was getting kind of annoyed with Anastasia's character at this point for all the reasons that were listed by previous posts. Equally sick of her sex crazed inner goddess crap. But let me ask some of you this. If Christian Grey was some fat ugly dude who had been neglected and abused, or even if he was good looking but not wealthy, would Ana or any girl give him a chance with all his baggage? It just goes to show that the world revolves around skin deep beauty and wealth, if you have either then you're ok no matter how f&%&ked up you are but if you don't have one or the other then you have no chance even if you're a wonderful human being. The winner in all this is EL James, a middle aged mom who turned her mommy porn into a lifetime of wealth. Imagine what the other women must be thinking or asking her when she comes in for parents teachers meetings or what about her giving a speech on career day!!!

moon girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
moon girl said...

hahaahaha, these are so funny and so true. Thank you both.

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!

Emma Lavoie said...

Fifty shades of grey ...waooo the book ...great .......
Waiting for the movie..........
Anastasia Steele